i could be a millionaire?

If I create and patent the "MOM BIB".....what do you think? I sure could use one these days!

(Notice the darker part of the entire neckline of my shirt!)

i know you'll like this picture Mom/Grandma!

I made Matt take our picture since we matched!

Us both wearing yellow counts as matching, right?!?

letters to my daughter: Week 4 aka 1 month!

Dear Ellie,

Wow, has it really been a whole month since I first held you in my arms! Like everyone said, time is sure going fast. I only have 3 weeks left of maternity leave and that is another thing I wish would slow down. Though I am so thankful to just work part time and not be gone from you too much!

This last week was challenging for both me and your daddy. You had a couple rough early mornings and it really stretched us for sure. We (your Dad and I) found ourselves not being the nicest to each other in those stressful moments but we also were able to later talk calmly and tell each other what we need in those situations for the future.

Girly, communication is huge in marriage and though marriage is so far off for you, I hope one day as you read this you will encouraged in your own life that even when things are tough and hard, marriage provides you a teammate to work through everything with. It really is a gift.

This week we laid low, well more than the previous weeks. We did go hang out with your future buddies Carter, Jameson, and Lily. It was nice to just chat with the other mamas and also laugh about the size of Jameson compared to you and Carter. To be fair, he is 4+ months older than you two.

Your daddy and I continue to take you on lots of walks around the neighborhood. Walking is a huge thing for us and we will most likely do it most nights all spring and summer. It will be fun to watch you as the years go on as you go from being carried or "strolled" by us (yes, just invented that word!) to seeing you take your own steps and then eventually I'm sure want to ride your bike. We are so excited for all that is to come and for what each new day brings.

I love you so much girly, during the hard times and the great ones. Through it all, forever!

love,

mama

*** Unfortunately, these letters are going to have to become monthly letters. In the interest of our new budget and having to pay taxes this year!! We are cutting out internet and cable. Blog posts may not be as frequent either, which saddens me, but I do have a beautiful journal that was a gift for Ellie, that I plan to continue to write to her in as well. I will continue to update when I can for sure!***

Baby wearing

Ellie and I went to visit her Aunt Grace, Uncle Zach and Grandma Robin this week. Grace and I both decided to "wear" our Ellie's. Yup, Gracie's baby is named Ellie too! How sweet is she!

making another tradition

Annual pictures with the cherry blossoms!

Next year she have the head support she needs for a proper picture!

confession

i got mad at my daughter this morning......mad as in crying tears in frustration and being a little "freaking out" upset.

i got mad at my husband too, so that certainly didn't help the situation.

I had fed her at 4:30 am and brought her back to bed but she just wasn't falling back asleep as she normally has been. Matt generously offered to get up with her (I wasn't mad at him yet!) so I could sleep some more. It was about 5:30 at this time. Around 6:30 he brought her back to me, saying he thought she was hungry again.

So to the couch we returned and then it all went downhill from there. i just couldn't get her to latch on, she got more and more hysterical and shed more and more tears too. Cried and screamed the kind of sounds that pierce your heart but also if I'm being honest make you a little mad and frustrated since you know she simply needs to just close her little lips and suck. She's right there and fighting so hard against what she seems to want so desperately.

And then there was Matt, hearing her like that, and I know wanting desperately to help her and me, but basically saying all the wrong things or the ones I just didn't need to hear right then, so I pushed Matt away and told him to just leave me alone. We weren't very nice to each other and he did end up just leaving me alone and returning to bed (but honestly it was what I needed). I kept trying and trying but then I gave up, maybe she just wasn't hungry. It had after all been only 2 hours since she had last eaten and at night or early early morning, she usually goes 4-6. So like I said I gave up. Then I did the only thing I could think to do and maybe get right.

I brought that sweet, hysterical, precious, poor babe to my shoulder and snuggled her into my neck they way she likes (the way I think she likes) and rocked, rocked until she quieted (within in a couple seconds) and rocked until we both slumped down together on the couch and fell fast into a deep hard sleep.

Maybe that was all we both needed, to just BE together, cry together, and rest.....together.

the baby whisperer AKA the baby bjorn

We hadn't even made it off the front porch to go on a walk and this little lady was out! We enjoyed a nice walk down town and back. Spring is "springing" up all around.

I don't think she moved at all the whole time. I love that little "o" of her lips!