daddy daughter moments

just some cute photos of my favorite 2 people!

i am blessed

sleep shenanigans!

Every single night I go into Ellie's room before my head finally hits the pillow. 

I'm sure most parents do....

There's just something about seeing your child sleeping peacefully.

There's also something about silently cracking up 

when you find your child zonked out in um...."interesting" situations!!

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Because of the 1st photo,

 Ellie now sleeps only in footie pajama's with the feet cut off and on BACKWARDS! 

so she has no zipper access!

 And still just the other day the little houdini managed to remove her diaper during nap time

 WITHOUT even breaking free from her pj's!! hmmm?!

Silly sleepy girl!

just a little late....Christmas around our house {2011}

(Another catch-up/re-cap post)

A few instagrams of our holiday decor....

I loved this years mantle WAY more than last years...so glad to be rid of those green walls

bokeh fun with the christmas tree lights!

 thank you internet and bloggers for easy tutorials on how to do this!

Below: Ellie and I made these ornaments for her grandma's and Little Hearts class teachers.

We used her hand print to make the snowman and then I painted the details, she colored the cards :)

Fancied up for our church Christmas service, 

loved her vintage dress that we found at a thrift store for $4!

Next year I'll try to post about Christmas in December :)

remember that one time I did a TRIATHLON!

(Catching up on some old "meant to post them back when they actually happened" blog posts!)

A bit of backstory: Ellie was born at Bella Vie Birth Center a few weeks after the Haiti earthquake 2 years ago and actually the midwife that was supposed to help deliver her ended up going to do relief work in Haiti the week she was born and we ended up with another midwife from the birth center who had just returned from Haiti. Well, these 2 midwives along with several others have since created a free birth center in Haiti that is run and supported by their non-profit MamaBaby Haiti. 

This past summer they organized a fundraiser effort for MBH in which they asked people to sign up for the Portland Triathlon with the goal of raising $500 each to help the birth center. As soon as I heard about it my mind went back to those first weeks postpartum when I sat on my couch with my brand new babe on my chest, reading/hearing about their experiences in Haiti and the kind of circumstances babies were being born in in Haiti and I just couldn't NOT do anything. Even at that time, I knew in my heart that I would someday try to help their efforts there.

The opportunity to raise some money and support MBH finally presented itself to me and I found myself signing up for my first Sprint Triathlon! (Sprint distance = 1/2 mile swim, 16 mile bike ride, and 3 mile run).

 I trained with a group of about 7 people all summer, receiving workout instructions from our trainer every Monday that had me running, biking and swimming all week long and then meeting up for group training sessions almost every weekend. The big day finally arrived on August 21st and we were up before the sun to head down to the Portland Riverfront to get things all ready to go for what would end up being the most challenging thing I have EVER done! 

Sunrise behind the Hawthorne bridge (which I would later swim under and run across)

setting up transition area

Fellow fundraisers and team mates- 

we were the only "fundraising team" participating in the triathlon 

and seeing all those green shirts out on the course was super encouraging!

 I knew I wasn't  dying sweating alone!

My age group of women taking off on the swim, I'm in there! 

(and was quickly left in the dust splashes so I didn't endure too much elbows or kicks to the face)

Time for two 8 mile laps up and around barber blvd. and one big steep hill! (twice-ugh!)

almost done, time to run

maybe a hundred yards to go

smiling because it's finally over and the finish was in sight! 

Biggest cheerleader and support of all, through out the entire training time and day of.

I finished in 2 hours 7 minutes and was 9th place in my age group of about 14 women.

It felt AMAZING to finish! During the race I kept telling myself, NEVER AGAIN!! (knowing I had also already signed up for the Oktoberfest Tri in September!) But by the time I was able to cool down, get some water and enjoy the whole atmosphere of people who had also just done what I had done, I was feeling pretty proud and "endorphinized" and was excited to try another one! (and I did!)

All in all, the people who supported my fundraising efforts helped me raise almost $1000!!
I hope in the future to be able to do more fundraising/supporting/serving for MamaBaby Haiti!
Check them out here!

Finisher's Shirt! 

and

Celebration meals!

Thank you SO much to all who supported me in this effort 

and who gave generously to MamaBaby Haiti. 

I couldn't have done it without you!

new spot!

I decided that under the changing table would make the perfect little fort

 so I used some scrap fabric and bought a tension rod and Ta-Da! 

A new cozy place to play!

I think it's a hit since she was even asking to sleep in it :)

( love this sweet face!)

yes

To live content with small means;

To seek elegance rather than luxury,

And refinement rather than fashion;

To be worthy, not respectable;

And wealthy, not rich;

To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly…

To listen to stars and buds, to babes and sages,

With open heart, await occasions, hurry never.

This is my symphony.

-William Henry Channing

Mom-fessions: it's about to get REAL up in here

OK, I need to get something off my chest that has been stirring up in me....I am thankful for the stirring because it is my hope that it will cause action....and I am thankful for this blog because it is my hope it will create accountability and support....

I've been using the television WAY too much lately with Ellie and it has become a bad habit! 

I am NOT ok with this and this is me admitting it and then committing to making some changes. It goes against the parenting style I desire to have for my girl and it boils down to me being plain LAZY! I am going to skip the beating myself up part of this blog (done it enough in my head) and just focus on my goals and desire for change.

Let me also say, that I am 100% NOT judging ANY parents that do let their kids watch tv. This isn't about that.

This isn't about me wanting Ellie to never watch tv or movies, I do believe there's a time for that and I have always wanted to have family movie nights with popcorn and jammies and kids piled on the couch when their older....But if I'm being honest, I will tell you that lately OPB has been on at our house every morning from 7:00am to 11:00am and that is 4 freaking hours!! I don't care if Sesame Street is educational, I no longer want to accept this about myself.

This is about me not wanting to take the easy/lazy road when it comes to how I want to spend time with my daughter. I don't stay home with her all day and so the time that I get with her is limited and precious but more often than not lately I have found myself turning to a cartoon or movie so I can get something done, have a moment to myself or do something that (yes, I am going to admit this!) satisfies/fufills me MORE in that moment than simply playing with/being with my daughter....

Ok, maybe I am going to beat myself up a bit over that one because it kind of sickens me that that is where I am at right now in my feelings. I have a beautiful amazing daughter in my life and every single word in my letters to her are completely honest and true but I also know I have gotten selfish and off track. And I'm not going to settle for that because I know I am better than that and I also know she DESERVES better than that.  I am not saying that my world needs to revolve 100% around Ellie, 100% of the time because it doesn't and it can't and it shouldn't.  I need to focus on being the "best" me for me so I can be the best me for her, and him and HIM. I know there is a intricate balance of motherhood, wifehood, sisterhood, daughterhood and everything else we want to be as women that is involved there.

I am saying that I want to have an attitude that reflects my true heart and desires for our life and my child. I am saying that I am ready to make some changes and not settle for easy and convenient anymore. I have seen all kinds of ideas for interacting with kids, or teaching them, or just being with them all over the internet, in books and just lived out by people and I have always appreciated them and looked forward to doing them with my own kids and it's just time for me to get back to that. A friend once told me that "they loved how I got down on the floor and just played with Ellie" and I want to be that mom again. I know I still AM her, I just want to be her MORE again.

This is what I do know:
there will still be times Ellie watches some tv,
but there will be times where my knees are dirty from crawling around on my floor and dishes will remain unwashed for a while longer,
there will be times when it's hard to read a book for the 50th time again,
but there will be times where my soul is blessed by a hug and a slobbery kiss,
there will be times when it's a struggle to think of something new to do,
but there will be times of adventures, pretend, and fulfillment.
Ultimately the hard, the boring, the frustrating, the lazy, the ugly, the WHATEVER....will be drops in the bucket compared to,
the times of peace, joy, learning, sharing, growing, living, LOVING.....and i KNOW this!
(I think I really needed this typed out reminder though!)

This is what I also know: There will no longer be 4 hours of cartoons in the morning,  I COMMIT to knowing that and living it out and I want you: dear readers, friends, mama to know it too!

There is grace in community, there is strength in accountability, there is renewal in confession.

Thanks for reading this friends.