letters to my daughter: Months 19-22

Dear sweet Ellie-girl,

Your mama has definitely failed at consistent monthly posts to you on here but I hope to get a few more in before you turn 2! In just 2 short months away! Then I hope to make this little blog here into a book for you to always have.

Baby, (i know I should probably stop calling you that too!) I just want to tell you how special you are to me and your daddy. You are such a light in our life. You constantly amaze, teach, challenge, and humble us. We are so thankful for you and that God picked you to be OUR daughter and for us to be your parents!

Ellie, you are spunky and sassy, super brave and full of energy. You are also a sweet heart and a lover. You are determined and smart. You are changing every day and we are continually amazed by you! 

Currently you LOVE: to say "Hi" and "Bye" to EVERYONE when we are out and about (charmer!), twirl and spin in circles until you fall down from dizziness and then get back up and do it again, watch a "moobie" (movie), play with your new kitchen, more specifically tear apart your entire kitchen :), write on the chalkboard in your room, NOT sit in the shopping cart (mama's fault on that one!), take off your pajamas and even diaper at some point in the night/early morning nearly every night!! and offer kisses to EVERY dog and cat you come across. I have made countless memories witnessing you do all of these things and more!

(Your Christmas present this year made by your dad and I)

Some other things you are doing/saying since my last letter to you are:

- Saying: mama, dada, baby, ellie, carter, nanny, papa, no, mine, yep, please, eat, ball, cracker, hi, bye, purple, blue, yellow, two, nine, "read a book", "watch a movie", snack, "take a "back" (bath), hello, puppy, cat, hat, pretty and some more I know I am forgetting!
- You know a lot of you shapes and we practice on your chalkboard. You know circle, heart, square, triangle and diamond for sure.
- You also know some colors now and get them right about 90% of the time, your favorites are definitely yellow and blue but you also know red, green, orange and purple
- When you count, you only say two and nine, which is super cute but we're working on that one :)
- You can climb INTO your crib, but not out of it! Not sure when we'll put you into a big girl bed yet.
- You are pretty good at sharing what your playing with and we always see you offering toys to kids when you are in sunday school or at story time. Of course you have your "mine" moments but I'd like to think when I see you offer toys to kids who aren't playing with something, it is because you want to make sure everyone is included, which is a trait I hope you will grow up with!
- You LOVE to take a bath and request one every night
-You put out your hands to hold ours and pray EVERY time we sit at the table, without us prompting you. You also say Amen! (heart melt!)
-You love to color and read books.
-You love to sweep and I shortened the swifter just for you to use to push around.
-You love to jump on the couch or beds (and YES! we let you, get that energy out girlfriend!!)
-You like to say "no", so you are learning about timeouts :)
- Everyday it seems like you learn or say something entirely new!

Ellie, you have stolen our hearts! Thank you for being exactly who you are! I am so thankful to be your mom and be the recipient of your sloppy kisses, your sweet snuggles, your tight hugs, your precious love. You challenge me and motivate me to be better each and every day.

I love you with all my heart!

love, mama

something to blog about....

Not to say that I haven't had countless things to blog about because of our "mini miller" but this one I am making the time to add to this special long neglected little space...

Dear Ellie-girl,

Last night as I was putting you to bed, I was struck in such an overwhelming humbling way of the precious gift which you are to me, that I have been given from our Heavenly Father above.

And as tears slipped silently, joyfully down my cheeks, I began to pray aloud. Little girl, you did not know I was praying, I mean how could you possibly really understand the words more than just thinking I was speaking aloud as you heard my voice. The example of prayer that we have given you so far has been at meal times, gathered around the table, hands held and heads bowed.

We sat in the dark, in the old green $4 chair from goodwill, wrapped cozily in your blanket, milk cup gripped in your hand as I expressed my deep gratitude to our Lord for your life and the gift, the privilege of being YOUR mother. I prayed for your years to come, that you would come to know the truest Love of all, that you would shine for Him.

And then sweet baby of mine.....you said one simple word......."AMEN!"

Dear one, you know! You knew! What an amazing gift of a moment last night, in that old green chair, written upon my heart, for always. Our God is so good!

letters to my daughter: Month 15 & 16

Dear "Little Stink",

Sorry baby, that's your nickname of the moment the days! Mostly I call you it when you do something like what's in the picture below :) But don't worry it's said in love! I also realize I should probably stop calling you baby as much as I do, I am sure you're not even going to know your name is Ellie at this rate!! We seem to call you anything other than that most of the time :)

I decided to go against my "rule" of not having photos in your monthly letter posts, seriously why I worry about them all "looking the same" is beyond me! It doesn't matter and these photos I chose really capture your last 2 months of life and where we are at now. Girl, you are BUSY!! And very inquisitive these days, also independent, and keen on figuring out how things work! Also, it doesn't take much to keep you entertained and we've been having fun "makin' do" (see below for the proof! Tupperware+water+sunshine+turkey baster=FUN!)

A few things about you these days:

-You love to be outside! you have mastered the slide at the park and could care less about the swings anymore!

-I've learned not to ask you if you wan't to go bye-bye unless we are ready to walk out the door! (If shoes aren't on, bag isn't grabbed, etc. etc. I've just teased you and you think it won't happen in the 3 more minutes between saying it and actually leaving! *cue crying!)

-That said, you LOVE to go bye-bye!! :)

-We've been putting lots of "ponies" in your hair to contain the mullet and too long, not really bang pieces, that I will NOT cut yet!

-At story time you always crack me up and I love to watch you because you never just sit there with me and do the songs or listen to the book, instead you wander ALL over the room, getting all up in the other parents space, face, laps, using them as a stairwell to hang on to up and down the stairs, etc. etc. You charm them all though silly girl!! You are quite the adventurer!

-You might be developing a "lovey"? You've been sleeping with one of your soft baby dolls that you go for your birthday and it's so cute to see you curl your little arm around her and tuck her under your chin when I lay you down for bed.

-If we tell you to throw something away, you walk over to garbage, wait for us to open it and then will throw it in and clap for yourself! Also, you help put the dishes away from the dishwasher (the tupperware ones!) and if we tell you to wipe you nose, you go get a burprag and will wipe it! It's so funny to see you do all these things!

-You are obsessed with the bathroom and being in the bathroom and if I can't find something like a sippy cup, I can usually find it in the tub, along with a ball, some random tupperware, etc!

-You say "bye-bye, banana, "nuh" (nose), mama, dada, and a bunch of other babbly stuff, I am pretty sure you are trying really hard to say "sock" and I can tell when you are, and you also have a word for when you want milk but I can't even try to spell it the way you say it, but I know what you mean! It's sooo neat to be able to understand your little baby language!

-You sign please, thank you, all done, more, eat, and milk. When I tell you to say "I love you" you blow kisses/sign thank you but I know that is your way of saying it!

-You still LOVE to give kisses to me, even when I don't even ask for them! This is the best thing!

-We've been working on animal sounds and the one you have nailed is definitely the cow! lots of "mmmmmmmmm" going on around our house

-You are really into books and sitting on our lap to have them read to you right now.

-You know where your ears, nose, belly button, hair, teeth/mouth, and eyes are! I think eyes are my favorite because instead of pointing to them your squinch them shut and make the cutest face! Then you poke me in mine to show me where mine are! ha!

-You are still eating most everything and sleeping good too! New favorite foods include green beans (but only the canned ones?), tomatoes, strawberries and scrambles eggs are high on the list! You also blow on all your food a lot even if it's not hot food! so cute!

-Still nursing at 16 months and I don't know/don't care when you will stop, I know you'll let me know when the time is right. I'm trusting our instincts on it and not anyone else's opinions there.

-Hmmm, what else! I need to start writing things down on paper in between these letters so I don't leave anything out.....

-Oh yes, tantrums have arrived, (i think that's what I'd call them!) Sometimes when you don't get your way or we won't let you do something, etc, etc you for sure let us know you are not happy about it. You're dad and I have been talking quite a lot about how we want to handle this kind of behavior and we are still figuring it out. So far we are ignoring it, walking a few steps away, or trying to redirect you with what your options ARE, instead of what we don't want you to do.....Seriously waking up in the middle of the night with a newborn was EASY compared to this part of parenting for me. I constantly second guess myself in what is best for you when it comes to discipline but one thing I will say is we are not afraid to be firm and follow through even if it's hard in the moment. We really do in fact do it because we love you! (Wow, our own parents were right when they said the same things to us!!)

On Father's day I put you in the outfit shown above, I have been waiting so long for you to wear that shirt from your Auntie Noel! Love it! It is so neat to watch your dad be your daddy!! It makes me fall in love with him all over again all the time seeing how he is with you! You are the highlight of his day when he walks through the door in the evening. Sometimes lately he has come home after you have gone to bed and it makes him sad that he doesn't get to spend that little bit of time with you. He loves you sooooo much sweet girl! We both do!

You bring such a joy and sweetness into my life Ellie girl!! I am so thankful for my cheerio spillin' & cheerio eatin' litttle babe! I love you with all my heart!

love,

mama

letters to my daughter: Month 13

Dear Ellie,

A few days ago your turned 13 months old! Looks like your mama is back to being a little bit late with your monthly letters! A part of me wondered if I should have let your 12 month letter be the last one for a little while and possibly make them yearly letters, but I can't not write to you. I actually hope to write to you more! More often than just waiting for your monthly "birthday". Why do I need it to be a certain date of the month to write to you, I need to just do it anytime I feel like it. So hopefully, that means you'll have even more of these to come sweet girl. They may also just get written in the journal I have for you instead. We'll see. Either way, you'll have them.

13 months!! This last month has been quite interesting and I will be honest here, actually more frustrating and mind boggling and mama guilt feeling than the ENTIRE first 12 months of you life!

Thankfully, after a hard few weeks, I am happy to say you are 100% back to that sweet, happy girl you had previously been. Unfortunately, it all seemed to start following your 1 year immunizations (cue more mama guilt!) After a lot of talking with a trusted mama friend, we are pretty sure that your shots threw off your digestion quite a bit and made you temporarily allergic to cows milk!

This was resulting in lots of diarrhea, massive blowouts, multiple daily and middle of the night entire bedding changes, not wanting to eat pretty much any solid food we offered and most importantly a sad, poor little babe that just wasn't herself. Seeing you not be yourself was what had me all over the place emotionally, especially when we didn't know why at first!

Another change in you was you wanted to nurse like a newborn (every 2-3 hours!) and I will be honest and say that was hard on me too! Knowing that I didn't really have the supply for that (which is why you continually asked-since you weren't getting full!) also struggling mentally on if it was the "right thing" since you were only nursing like twice a day in the month prior. I was torn! And because you had learned to sign for milk I wanted to give you what you were actually now asking for using your signs!

BUT, I can now happily say we made it through those tough weeks and figured out what worked best for us, what we needed to do for you and we are finding our groove again. Sometimes a parent just has to freak out a little bit :)

Don't worry Ellie babe, that is certainly NOT all that made up your 12th to 13th month of life! You are also signing for EAT and we are working on "more" and "please". You love to babble and especially love giving kisses!! I will never turn down that sloppy open mouthed love fest of sweetness you offer me every morning! It is the cutest thing ever! I catch you leaning in towards other kids so sweetly and I know it's because you want to offer them a kiss too! Makes me giggle every time.

You are walking consistently more and more, taking on further lengths every day! You make me a proud mama. We've been going to the library for story time the last few weeks on Wednesday and you are starting to get the hang of the silly song motions and adding in your own dance moves too.

You now have a couple of baby dolls that you like to snuggle up in a hug and also give them kisses. But I would say your current favorite toy is a play school "Little People" house that you like to put all the little people into and take out of and for some reason carry all the furniture that goes in it around the house with you. It's the perfect size to hold.

The days are getting nicer and spring is "officially here" and I truly can not wait for some warmer weather so we can spend even more time outside. Thanks to our trusty clear jogger cover we don't let the rain stop us from walks at least a few times a week, but it will be fun to go to parks and actually get out of the stroller! Also to get to let you walk around and explore. And of course, the photo opportunities are so much better than just another of the same shot in our living room or kitchen. I'm already pining away for taking you to the tulip fields soon!

Ellie, you have blessed my life in immeasurable ways! You bring so much joy in my life, so many chances to learn and become better, so many opportunities to love and grow. You are beautiful sweet daughter! I love you so much!

love, mama

letters to my daughter: Month 12!! aka 1 YEAR

Dear Sweet Girl,

Today you are 1 year old! Over the last few days I have been reminiscing about where I was at exactly one year ago, Friday night I reminded your daddy of the "creative" tactics we used to jump start labor last year on our last Friday night just the 2 of us!, Saturday, while at your cousin Garrett's birthday party,I found myself thinking of how we missed his party last year but did manage to stop by it to pickup your dad's swim trunks in case he was going to get in the birth tub with me, and this morning, I happened to be awoken by you at exactly 5:34 am which was the time of your birth!! I thought to myself what a special little wake up call! (but only for your birthday day, you early bird!)

Wow, girly, to say my life has has been changed feels like an understatement. My life has been impacted, blessed, challenged, loved, and renewed in so many ways in the last 365 days with you here. It is one of my most treasured privileges in the world to be your mama.

When I think back on the last year of our life together, as our family of three, 99 % of my memories are full of love, excitement, new experiences, and beauty. Sure, we had hard moments of figuring things out or times of frustrating tears (from both of us!), but as I have said many times those hard moments are tiny drops in the bucket. I am truly overwhelmed by the gift that motherhood is to me. A small part of me sits here thinking that that could come off sounding all sunshine and rainbows and too mushy and that my life is perfect, lalala, but these letters are for no one else but you dear Ellie girl and when I think about you with every part of my heart and soul, that is truly how I feel.

You have given me soooo much. I love you with all my heart! I am excited for you to one day read these love letters to you and see through my words just how special you are!

Thank you Ellie June, for changing my life, my heart, my world!

Of course, no letter is complete without telling some stats about you right now in your 12 months of life! You are developing quite the little personality of equal parts total cuteness and silliness, with a little bit of stubbornness thrown in for good measure (wonder where that comes from?!)

You are consistently blowing kisses, waving, and clapping on command or whenever the mood strikes you it seems. You love to transfer your little toy balls from one container to the next (a favorite game). You are testing us a little bit with throwing food off you high chair (which makes for a consistent dirty & clean! floor with all the sweeping mama gets to do!).

You have mastered the sippy cup and drink water and milk out of them throughout the day. It is funny to see you tip your head all the way back and hold on to both handles to drink and you will also drink for a straw if we let you! You are still nursing when you wake and when you go to bed and show no signs of stopping and we plan to just follow your lead with weaning.

You love to get up on the couch or the rocking chair in your room or the stairs and then get down on your own, sliding onto your tummy, doing it the "safe way" from the get go, smart girl! You get super excited and sort of bounce up and down when the phone rings or when we open the front door to leave to go somewhere.

You are now facing forward in the car and it has made a big difference in our car rides. You love to look ahead and seem to sing your own special little songs to the music on the radio. You babble A LOT! Most often saying dadadada, but will say mama, and other babbly sounds as well. I am starting to work on bye-bye with you!

You are still not quite walking, but will do it if you are walking to one of us from the other and are rewarded with snuggles and accolades! I have seen you take steps on your own from the ottoman to couch, etc if the toy or channel changer seems tempting enough! You do get ALL over the house at lightening speed however if you have your push cart around!

You have 5 teeth! With maybe 1 year molars coming soon! When your not throwing your food on the ground, you still will eat mostly everything we give you. You can devour a whole banana in no time and still love beans and yogurt the most, with string cheese and turkey being a close second. I don't really leave the house anymore with out cheerios coming along as well as the snack to save the day! :)

One of your daddy and my most favorite recent things you do, is most definitely when you snuggle! You constantly surprise with a head leaned to our shoulder or laid on our chest and seriously we are puddles when that happens! We love you so so much! And you love us too! It shows and we feel it girly!

Sweet Ell girl, thank you again for an amazing last year of life. I look forward to each and every year to come! And we also thank God, our Father for you! In watching your sweet life each day, in experiencing being parents, in loving one another more and learning to work as a team, we are reminded that God is the reason we have what we have! God has blessed us with you and we know that you are His first. He loves you even more than we do and we promise that we will share that truth with you as you grow up! I am excited to see all the plans the Lord has for you in your life!

Happy Birthday, Ellie June!

love,

your mama

letters to my daughter: Month 11

Dear Munchie,

Short for munckin!! You are 11 months old TODAY! Girly, this month has been so fun with you....you are such a joy to us and make us smile and laugh each day. You're always surprising us too!

You are currently obsessed with your push cart! And it is your fastest mode of transportation to get all around the house. Soon, (we think) you will abandon it for steps on your own! You've also figured out how to get up on the couch and love the remotes. We always give you the one that operates the dvd player so we don't end up with the tv scrambled in some way we can't fix!

Your hair is getting longer and you have a little wisp that comes down almost to your nose that I've begun to clip back with little clip. Oh, I can't wait for getting to give you pigtails and braids eventually! People have said it's time for a trim of that but NO way!! Not yet!

You are always babbling, and making noises now. Especially in the car. I also love how every day when I come home, as soon as you see me walk in the door you get SOOO excited that you actually screech! with excitement! It is the cutest and makes my heart melt.

The tupperware drawer is also one of your favorite spots to be! We hang out in the kitchen a lot. You eating habits have changed a little bit but I sneak things into your yogurt or cereal to make sure you are getting a little bit of everything. I think it's the texture of some things that makes them come right back out of your mouth. It's cute but I also want to make sure you are getting a good mix of all types of food. Your favorite food is still yogurt for sure, but beans are a close second, followed by cherrios or puffs!

I always make sure I keep a stash of cherrios or puffs in my purse when we are out and about. Speaking of being out and about, we have become "mall walkers" recently. About 3 mornings week we head to the mall to get in 5 miles!! before the stores open. We are the youngest mall walkers by about 35-60 years I would say! 35 for me and 60 years for you! But those other mall walkers sure do get a kick out of your smiles and scowls too! Yes, sweet girl, you still scowl randomly at times, but it always make me laugh. Taking after your mama there.

Another fact about you right now is you are actually down to 1 nap a day. You get up at about 7am each morning, sometime after lunch go down for a nap that ranges between 1.5 to 3 hours and then go to bed around 6:30pm each evening. I think I am finally ready to blog about your sleeping at night (and not be afraid to jinx it) and say that you sleep through the night until about 6:45-7am the next morning. Sometimes we hear a peep or a short cry out in the middle of the night, but only that and we don't have to go in your room to comfort you, you always seem to fall right back to sleep. I honestly love this schedule. I get good quality time with you in the morning, especially now not having a morning nap and then your dad always gets good quality time with you in the late afternoon/evening before you go to bed, and your dad and I get some evening time for each other as well. I think this works great for all 3 of us!

One of my most favorite things to do is go in a peek at you before I go to bed myself each night. I'll adjust your blankets or just stand there and stare for a few minutes. It feels like a parental privilege to get to do that. Watching your child sleep is good for the soul!

I can't believe it's only one more month until your 1 year birthday! I am having fun planning and preparing for your party. We are going to make it really about celebrating you and your 1st year of life! I am so happy that we both will have these letters to look back on in years to come about this time too.

Sweet girl, you amaze me and inspire me each and every day. You move my heart! I love you so so much and are so thankful I get to be your mama.

love,

mama

p.s. this is my new favorite picture of you. You are in "attack the camera" mode!

letters to my daughter: Month 10

Dear Ellie June,

10 months sweet girl! I can't believe it!! What I can believe is that I am late with this letter again though :)This past month has been so much fun! We just got back from celebrating Christmas in California with your Grandma Lida, Great-Grandparents Linnartz, and almost all of our family on my mom's side. Celebrating your first Christmas was so much fun and we made lots of memories for sure!

Another big milestone for this month with you was taking you on your very 1st airplane ride to California. You did great and even got your own set of wings! You especially loved taking off on the flight home, not wanting to nurse but rather bounce up and down in my lap looking out the window and making excited noises! We were shocked and also thought it was so cute and funny.

At 10 months, you now officially have your top 2 teeth, making that 4 total. And it looks like you will have your mama's gap but don't worry girly, we will get you braces if need be!! And before your senior year in highschool too :) You also are eating everything, and adding more "grown up people" food all the time, like spaghetti or whatever were having for dinner some nights. I think your favorite food is greek yogurt for sure!

As far as moving around, on Dec. 28th, you took your first steps and we were able to capture it on video too! (not the 1st, 1st official ones-but the next time you did it as we got the camera out RIGHT away!!) You are now taking steps from couch to toy, or ottoman or us and it is so fun to see how you do it......slowly and with your arms out, followed by a huge smile for yourself!

Smiling is also what you are doing most of the time. You are doing this squinchy face popeye the sailor man smile I call it but it melts me! Also, you have decided with those top and bottom teeth you like to grind them, which makes your dad and I freak out a bit and also reminds us of nails on a chalkboard kind of sound, so I hope this passes soon!

You're now saying "Da-da" even more than papa and sadly, I can't get you to say mama anymore! But I'm sure it will come back eventually :)

For Christmas, you got not 1 but 2 baby dolls, which are your 1st and you love to drag them around with you and also give them lots of kisses! (Or really just suck on their heads! hmmmm??) It is cute though to see how much you love them.

Baby, You are such a gift to me, to us! We love you so much and are so blessed by you as our daughter! You continue to amaze us and fill our hearts so full!

I love you sweet girl!

Love,

mama

P.S. I also wanted to add, just for remembering sake, that your current nickname (mostly from your dad) is definitely "Boogs!" Sorry girl!! :)

letters to my daughter: Month 9-ish

Dear Ellie girl,

Yup, late again. I am starting to give up hope of getting these letters written to you on the 21st of each month, but don't worry baby girl, you can continue to expect them :)

Originally I was intentionally waiting to write your letter on 9 mo, 1 week cause that was the day we had planned to dedicate you at our church and I wanted to write about that, but last Sunday you woke up with a really bad cold and high temp of 103!! so this letter along with your dedication got postponed.

You pretty much slept on my chest ALL day and were so miserable. Your dad and I were pretty concerned and called the Dr. to see what they thought. You also had a super runny nose that was stuffing you up and a cough! We kept you tylenol-ed, snuggled up, and continued to watch your fever. It eventually broke the next morning but then we noticed your eyes were super goopy and I just couldn't shake that mama feeling inside that something just wasn't right! After another day of watching your fever and your eyes, the Dr's office finally decided that they should see you and we found out you had your first ear infection and a double one at that!

So this past week, we been treating you with antibiotics for your ears, and just trying to keep you comfortable and happy. We also got drops for your eyes which cleared them up after one dose! I know it seems kinda funny for me to write all these details about you being sick since kids get ear infections all the time, but baby, it was your first and along with so many more of your firsts, I want to tell you about these things. Your mama is silly!

I am excited for you to read these letters one day and I often wonder when that will be. Will I give them to you when you are a teenager and think that your mom is so annoying and embarrassing or will I give them to you when you becoming a mom of your own sweet babe, I don't know. I guess I will just know when the time is right! But most of all, I hope they bless you to be able to read what I was thinking about you and feeling during this sweet, amazing time in our lives!

Let me tell you a little more about you at 9 months! You are now 18 and 1/2 pounds and 27 inches tall! You are still all over the place, speed crawling we like to call it! Pulling your self up on everything and I've gotten you to take a few steps on your own too! (But only when you are barefoot and on carpet for some reason! and if the toy is tempting enough!!)

Still eating everything we give you and liking it all! We recently gave you spaghetti! You also tried mashed potatoes and turkey during Thanksgiving.

You are now saying mama all day, everyday! I love this!! And I DO think you get that it's me because you say it when I come into your room in the morning to get you from from your crib and other times to me when I am holding you or you want me to hold you.

The day after Thanksgiving your Grandma Miller got you an early Christmas present of a new "big girl"carseat but you are still facing backward for now. You're not loving the car rides as much lately but you're not screaming in them either, just seem a little annoyed and whiny about them :)

You also are saying "pa-pa" in the cutest little whisper voice. I wonder if that is what you will call your dad or will you say dada soon? What else? You are fearless, I swear! Trying to dive off the stairs into my arms every time you climb up them and I follow you. I think this is a game for you.

You are getting better and better at the sippy cup but still wanting/needing me to help hold it for you most of the time.

You are so interested in other kids and always are touching or pulling yourself up on or attacking them! But in a cute sweet "I just want to play with you! way :)

Baby girl, you bring so so much joy and fun and laughter and love into my life. You have my heart sweet girl!!

I love you so much!

love,

your mama

P.S. Only 2 more months (less really) until you turn ONE YEAR OLD!! Are you kidding me!!! Seriously, it has flown by so fast, just like everyone says! But you will always always be my baby girl, sweet love of mine!

Letters to my daughter: Month 8

Dear baby girl,

Yup, your mama is late again! But only by 1 week this time :) And I'm changing it up this time. I really don't know why I've never included a photo before, but I've thought about other times and then just wanted to keep things looking consistent....but today I thought, who cares!! It's fun to change it up and I love, love, LOVE this photo of you! I love your "michelin man" arms!! I love that something as simple as making our bed turns into a opportunity to laugh, cuddle, and play!

Sweet girl, let me tell you what's new with you in this past month. Bullet point style!

-For some odd reason which I can't figure out, you officially HATE getting a bath! I don't know what happened to the baby in those photos a few posts back, but now trying to bathe you is like putting a cat in water. You try with all your might to get out of the sink or tub!

-You can climb ALL the WAY to the top of the stairs!!! (which we only let you do while fully supervised with us right behind you) You definitely seem to be fearless!

-You have no stranger anxiety at all and with a little work anyone can get you to smile at them. I just tell them you make them earn it!

-You love to be around and often right on top of or in their face of any other kids! You are mesmerized by them.

-We are now putting you in the church nursery! (it only took us 8 months!)

-You constantly are babbling and sorta humming in the carseat. I like to think your trying to sing along to the music.

-You still only have 2 teeth but have been quite drooly lately so maybe more are on the way.

-You love to be standing up against something and pretty much have been standing as long as you have been crawling. I wonder when walking will come, but I'm also not in any hurry for it :)

-You will eat everything we give you and so far don't dislike anything! Mostly all purees, chunks of banana and avacado and hard boiled egg yolk, puffs, tiny toast pieces and plain greek yogurt make up you diet right now but we're always trying new things!

-You are starting to get the idea of waving and we practice when I leave each day and also when your grandma leaves.

-You LOVE playing with your daddy and get to for a little while each afternoon before I get home, I am so thankful you get this special time together.

Well, Ellie girl, as you can see, you are clearly the love and light of our lives and we are so glad to be you parents!! I can't even believe it's been 8 months!! Wow!

I love you so so much!

love,

mama

letters to my daughter: Month 7.5

Dear miss Ellie,

Well, as you can see this letter is a wee bit late this month! Sorry girl, but also it provides me with something to share with you. What I want to tell you is at times in your life, things are going to slip through the cracks, have to be put in the back burner, or postponed until later. And that is OK! It is ok when those things happen because you are busy being in the moment, loving others, learning about yourself, and following you heart. Sometimes the "need/should/want" to do's far outweigh the GET to do's!

I am so thankful I GET to be your mom, get to spend time with you each morning before I leave for work, get to play in our bed with you on the weekend mornings, get to take care of you by feeding you, changing you, loving on you, teaching you, and praying for you. I am so thankful that I get to be your daddy's wife, that I get to love him and learn with him, that I get to take care of our home and all that comes with that responsibility, that I get to provide meals for our family. I am so thankful that I get to be me! Not only as a mother and wife, but as a daughter, sister, FRIEND. Sometimes all that comes with those get to do's means blogging about the doing of them gets put off. And that my girl is OK, because even if it's not put out there for the Internets, all of these things are written upon my heart.

Month 7 of your life has been so fun! You are a mobile machine. Since I wrote you 6 month letter, not only have you mastered crawling but also pulling your self to standing (first in your crib!), as well as climbing!!! the stairs. We have got to keep a constant watch on you little lady. You are very determined and that is the one word I would pick to describe you right now. You are also eating solids now and so far there's really nothing you won't eat. You've had rice cereal, oatmeal, prunes, pears, apples, carrots, sweet potatoes, summer squash, green beans, peas, Cheerios, hard boiled egg yolk, and the list goes on. and girly, you are a MESSY eater....but it sure makes for some cute pictures!

Darling girl, today is my birthday and I can honestly say, that on my 27th birthday YOU are the best gift I could have ever received this past year! You bring so much joy and love into my life. I am thankful for you now and always.

love,

your mama

letters to my daughter: Month 6

Dear baby girl,

That seems to be the nickname of choice right now, so I will begin your letter with that. It's funny how those change from week to week. Currently, your dad is calling you "Booger" the most. Sorry girly!

Well, two days ago you turned 6 months old! Sorry for being late with your letter. Life has been a whirlwind these past few days and I have no excuse but myself. Your mama is a last minute type of lady who likes to add more and more to her plate all the time. I always say I work better under pressure!

Enough about me though, let me tell you about you! You are now 16lbs, 14 oz and 26 inches long. That puts you in the 75th percentile for both height and weight! Whatever that means :) And as of just this morning, you have one single tooth starting to poke through on your bottom gums! (which explains a lot! haha) Here we go on the teething adventures....

Also, you are now sitting up all by yourself as of about 2 weeks ago as well as scooting all over the place. You constantly surprise us on how you get from here to there. I come into you room to find you sitting half up with one hand at your side kind of holding you there and you look like your posing for me! I love being greeted by your smiling face in the morning. You are so proud of yourself, it's too cute.

Another crazy thing you have started doing is getting up on both your hands and feet, no knees on the ground at all. You are totally doing the downward dog yoga position! The first few time you did this resulted in a face plant or two, but now you have mastered it. I can't believe how strong you are. Just one more thing you amaze us with.

Baby, I love how much I love you. It is one of the best feelings in the world to just be so overwhelmed by it. To see you and to literally, just feel it swell through my body how much I care about you and love you. Being you mother has been such a life transforming gift. I love you for it.

I really can't believe it's been 1/2 a year you've been in the world now! It really does feel like yesterday you were swimming in your sleepers and we were bumbling through diaper changes and you spent over half the day asleep on our chests, I suppose that feeling of just yesterday never goes away for any mother or father. I am so very thankful for our yesterdays, our tomorrows, and especially our todays.

i love you Ellie girl. With all that I am, i love you.

love,

your mama

letters to my daughter: Month 5

Dear Ellie girl,

Today you are 5 months old! I am just amazed each day at you. You bring so much joy and light into my life. Your dad and I just marvel at you.

This past month it seems like you have mastered a bunch of new stuff. You are rolling all over, scooting backwards, have found your feet and most recently are trying to get those toes in your mouth!

Last month I finally put you in your crib and you have been sleeping in there ever since. You have turned into a stomach sleeper now and you love to be up against the very side of the crib, just like how you used to love to push your head into the crook of my arm. It must be a comfort thing. There have also been a few times that we put you down in one position and come back to find you in a completely different direction.

Baby girl, you are just the sweetest. I love to go in a watch you sleep. It is such a special thing to watch your child sleep. You will know what I mean some day. I also love to put you in bed with me in the morning for a bit and just "talk" with you. You are quite talkative and smily first thing and we get good cuddles in!

At your 4 mo. check up (which was really about 4 mo. 2 weeks) you weighed 15lbs 3oz and are now 24 3/4 inches long!

This past weekend we took you camping for the first time and you were such a trooper! I can't wait to go more with you. I hope you grow up loving to camp and have adventures.

Ellie June, you mean so much to me! I am so thankful you are my daughter!

I love you!

love,

mama

letters to my daughter: Month 4

Dear Ellie,

Today you turned 4 months old. These past 4 months have been some of the greatest of my life, truly. With each day that passes I learn more, love more and am just so blessed by you being my daughter.

In the past month, I feel like you have changed a lot! We are really starting to see your personality come out! You love to smile and when you do your whole face lights up, I love it!

Also in the past month, you have mastered rolling over from your back to your belly, jumping in the bouncy door hanger thing, sitting in the bumbo, grabing onto your paci and pulling it out of and putting it back in your mouth, and more.

Just tonight I caught a video of you playing a game with your Daddy where he would raise his hands above his head and then you would copy him! You did this multiple times! It was so cute and yeah, we pretty much think you are a genius now! :)

We've settled into a nice bedtime routine and it is one of the most favorite parts of my day. NOT because you go to bed, but I lay on our bed with you and nurse you for a bit and it is just a special time. We snuggle and just look at each other and there is nothing else like it. Being a mother, especially YOUR mother, is one of my greatest joys!

Girly, you amaze us each day. We love you so much and know that you love us too! We are so thankful for these memories that we are making with you and look forward to the millions more!

I love you baby girl!

love,

mama

Letters to my daughter: a "just because" letter

Dear Ellie,

One year ago today, we took this picture. One year ago today our lives changes forever.

You have been a tremendous blessing in our lives,

even since the very first moment we found out about you!

We love you baby girl!

(It just occured to me that at first glance of this post, people might think we are making a new announcement! haha!)

letters to my daughter: Month 3

Dear Ellie girl,

You are now 3 months old! 89 days to be exact! You are growing and changing every day, sweet girl and I love it. I can't get enough of you :)

Each day when I am at work for those 5 hours, I miss you and I always look forward to coming home to see you baby girl.

You are in love with your hands right now and they are most often brought together at your chest or in your mouth. Sometimes you get to sucking and slurping on one of your fists so loudly I can't help but laugh! Since you are enjoying your hands so much you have begun to sleep loosly swaddled or not even swaddled at all.

A few nights I've even laid you down completely awake, you had some "hand time" and then drifted off to sleep. But most nights, I bounce you and snuggle you for a bit. Yep, I said bounce, not rock. We sit on the edge of our bed and bounce! You love to turn your head and bury it in the crook of my arm, which kinda freaks me out to be honest, so I angle my elbow out some so I know you can breathe. It's like you love to have your nose smashed up against me as you fall asleep. You actually do the same thing in your carrier too. Oh how I love all the little bits about you!

In the last month we've also broken out your play mat and you like be under it, but just not more than about 20 minutes. I love seeing you grab on to the monkeys feet and just looking up at the animals. Speaking of looking up, I think what you love the best is when you are in the swing with the butterflies above your head. You have full on conversations with those little butterflies! It is the cutest thing to see.

You are such a good girl. I tell your daddy all the time. I don't take one second of it for granted.

And you are also sooooo close to laughing. Right now you are doing a little short cough laugh sort of thing! So stinkin' cute!

Well, my daughter, Happy 3 Month Birthday girl! I love you with ALL my heart!

love,

mama

letters to my daughter: Month 2

Dear Ellie,

Wow, today you are 2 months old! You are getting big girly! At your 6 week checkup you were 10lbs, 10oz so my guess is now you are around 11 lbs. You have also been changing everyday. Your eyes are still blue and our midwife thought maybe they will stay that way? We will see. You are following us around with those eyes now. I also love when you get a little startled and open them so wide, it is so cute. Also when you smile, as you are doing now, I think your eyes smile too!

You've been smiling since about 6 weeks I would say and your dad and I just can't get enough of it. We love to get you all excited and smiley by talking in silly high voices or tickling your chin and cheeks! It melts my heart in a way I've never experienced before you.

I think I've settled on the nickname I call you the most and I'm sorry to tell you girl, it's "Munch!" Not the cutest but it's just a short version of Munchkin and that just always rolls of my tongue! You are my little Munch! (Just reminding you again here of how much of a dork your mama is!)

I went back to work last week and last week was quite the adjustment.....not so much for you as it was for me I am sure. I miss you quite a bit for the 5 hours we're apart but you are in great hands with your Grandma Kathy. I know the both of you are having fun!

Thursday last week was also the beginning of a hard couple of days for us though as it seemed like you decided you no longer wanted to nurse from me and only would take a pumped bottle! It had me really worried/emotional/guilty/sad/freaked out/ that maybe our time nursing was over because I went back to work. After a few feedings of you refusing to nurse, I called a few of my great mama friends for some advice. The best piece of advice that came was to NOT give you a bottle and that you would eat from me eventually.....and let me tell you, 15 hours later when you finally nursed from me again, it made it all worth it! It was hard to hear your cry and have you be so frustrated and angry when I knew I had what you wanted all along but you wouldn't take it and several times I just wanted to give in and give you a bottle, but your Dad played a huge role in keeping me strong enough to hold out and we made it through!! I am so thankful!

We keep learning new things about you all the time and in your second month some more things I have learned are:

-that you love your bath but HATE getting out if it! You cry and cry when I take you out and am getting you dressed!
-you make a pretty great alarm clock, your fairly consistent as my 7:30 girl! I love this!
-you have discovered your hands and LOVE your fist! You seem to go to town on it at least once a day with a nice slurp-fest! It's so loud and cute!
-you love to use your leg muscles, pushing against us when your on our lap or "standing" up when we hold you like that

Something else that has become a part of our "routine" almost daily is walking! You and I try to take a walk every morning and sometimes another one in the evening with your dad. You mostly sleep through them but you are starting to be more awake for parts of them too and I love to see your little face peering out at the world! I wonder what those wide eyes are thinking?!

Ellie girl, you bring so much joy to my life. I can't even imagine life without you, dear girl.

I love you so much!

love,

mama

little letters & wow, this is my 100th post!

Dear minimiller blog,

I miss you! I have not forgotten you, I promise! It's just that we no longer have the Internet at home and I've also gone back to work.....excuses, excuses!

Dear all 2 readers of this little blog,

Don't give up on me! Just don't waste your time checking more than once a week, hopefully I can at least stick to that!

Dear Ellie's 2 month letter,

Hang in there! You're forming in my heart and head all the time and I hope to get you written sometime this week! If I'm going by the day of the month, she's not even 2 months until.....tomorrow! Tomorrow!! Yikes, I was still thinking I had a few more days! How did today get to be the 20th already!

Dear Ellie-girl,

You are amazing! We had a rough weekend with re-learning how to nurse all over again (and I'll blog about it......eventually!) but we made it through and we are both stronger for it! I love you sooooo much my sweet girl! You truly do light up my life!

love,

mama miller

letters to my daughter: Week 4 aka 1 month!

Dear Ellie,

Wow, has it really been a whole month since I first held you in my arms! Like everyone said, time is sure going fast. I only have 3 weeks left of maternity leave and that is another thing I wish would slow down. Though I am so thankful to just work part time and not be gone from you too much!

This last week was challenging for both me and your daddy. You had a couple rough early mornings and it really stretched us for sure. We (your Dad and I) found ourselves not being the nicest to each other in those stressful moments but we also were able to later talk calmly and tell each other what we need in those situations for the future.

Girly, communication is huge in marriage and though marriage is so far off for you, I hope one day as you read this you will encouraged in your own life that even when things are tough and hard, marriage provides you a teammate to work through everything with. It really is a gift.

This week we laid low, well more than the previous weeks. We did go hang out with your future buddies Carter, Jameson, and Lily. It was nice to just chat with the other mamas and also laugh about the size of Jameson compared to you and Carter. To be fair, he is 4+ months older than you two.

Your daddy and I continue to take you on lots of walks around the neighborhood. Walking is a huge thing for us and we will most likely do it most nights all spring and summer. It will be fun to watch you as the years go on as you go from being carried or "strolled" by us (yes, just invented that word!) to seeing you take your own steps and then eventually I'm sure want to ride your bike. We are so excited for all that is to come and for what each new day brings.

I love you so much girly, during the hard times and the great ones. Through it all, forever!

love,

mama

*** Unfortunately, these letters are going to have to become monthly letters. In the interest of our new budget and having to pay taxes this year!! We are cutting out internet and cable. Blog posts may not be as frequent either, which saddens me, but I do have a beautiful journal that was a gift for Ellie, that I plan to continue to write to her in as well. I will continue to update when I can for sure!***