Wednesday, March 23, 2011

letters to my daughter: Month 13

Dear Ellie,

A few days ago your turned 13 months old! Looks like your mama is back to being a little bit late with your monthly letters! A part of me wondered if I should have let your 12 month letter be the last one for a little while and possibly make them yearly letters, but I can't not write to you. I actually hope to write to you more! More often than just waiting for your monthly "birthday". Why do I need it to be a certain date of the month to write to you, I need to just do it anytime I feel like it. So hopefully, that means you'll have even more of these to come sweet girl. They may also just get written in the journal I have for you instead. We'll see. Either way, you'll have them.

13 months!! This last month has been quite interesting and I will be honest here, actually more frustrating and mind boggling and mama guilt feeling than the ENTIRE first 12 months of you life!

Thankfully, after a hard few weeks, I am happy to say you are 100% back to that sweet, happy girl you had previously been. Unfortunately, it all seemed to start following your 1 year immunizations (cue more mama guilt!) After a lot of talking with a trusted mama friend, we are pretty sure that your shots threw off your digestion quite a bit and made you temporarily allergic to cows milk!

This was resulting in lots of diarrhea, massive blowouts, multiple daily and middle of the night entire bedding changes, not wanting to eat pretty much any solid food we offered and most importantly a sad, poor little babe that just wasn't herself. Seeing you not be yourself was what had me all over the place emotionally, especially when we didn't know why at first!

Another change in you was you wanted to nurse like a newborn (every 2-3 hours!) and I will be honest and say that was hard on me too! Knowing that I didn't really have the supply for that (which is why you continually asked-since you weren't getting full!) also struggling mentally on if it was the "right thing" since you were only nursing like twice a day in the month prior. I was torn! And because you had learned to sign for milk I wanted to give you what you were actually now asking for using your signs!

BUT, I can now happily say we made it through those tough weeks and figured out what worked best for us, what we needed to do for you and we are finding our groove again. Sometimes a parent just has to freak out a little bit :)

Don't worry Ellie babe, that is certainly NOT all that made up your 12th to 13th month of life! You are also signing for EAT and we are working on "more" and "please". You love to babble and especially love giving kisses!! I will never turn down that sloppy open mouthed love fest of sweetness you offer me every morning! It is the cutest thing ever! I catch you leaning in towards other kids so sweetly and I know it's because you want to offer them a kiss too! Makes me giggle every time.

You are walking consistently more and more, taking on further lengths every day! You make me a proud mama. We've been going to the library for story time the last few weeks on Wednesday and you are starting to get the hang of the silly song motions and adding in your own dance moves too.

You now have a couple of baby dolls that you like to snuggle up in a hug and also give them kisses. But I would say your current favorite toy is a play school "Little People" house that you like to put all the little people into and take out of and for some reason carry all the furniture that goes in it around the house with you. It's the perfect size to hold.

The days are getting nicer and spring is "officially here" and I truly can not wait for some warmer weather so we can spend even more time outside. Thanks to our trusty clear jogger cover we don't let the rain stop us from walks at least a few times a week, but it will be fun to go to parks and actually get out of the stroller! Also to get to let you walk around and explore. And of course, the photo opportunities are so much better than just another of the same shot in our living room or kitchen. I'm already pining away for taking you to the tulip fields soon!

Ellie, you have blessed my life in immeasurable ways! You bring so much joy in my life, so many chances to learn and become better, so many opportunities to love and grow. You are beautiful sweet daughter! I love you so much!

love, mama

1 comment:

  1. oh hollie: i just got chills reading this letter- slightly teared up even- partially because our babes are only one month apart from dear Ellie and are experiencing so many of the same things, but also because you express your love so beautifully through your words. i simply cant wait to get our little loves together this summer, yes- even at the tulip fields!!- and for us mamas to catch up. sending so much love and sweet mama strength your way!!!