First play date....sort of..

Today Ellie got to meet her future buddy Carter. They are just 5 days apart! I went to college with Carter's mama, Jami. We are excited for them to be pals.....

Week 42 (and 6 days) letter

Dear Ellie,

Well girly! You have finally arrived!! On the 6th day of my 42nd week of being pregnant with you. Of course, I am writing this after the fact because we have just been soaking you up as much as we possibly can. You are asleep on my chest even now as I type this out one handed! I am learning new mama skills all throughout each day that passes. And they are already passing so quickly.

I am going to attempt to keep up with my weekly letters to you, so even though we are technically 5 days into your first week of life on the outside, this letter will be about the last week you were still inside me, and let me tell you, you sure must have been nice and comfortable in there, staying until almost the last possible day until we would have had to try forcing you out in the hospital!

I am going to tell you what we did for the 5 days prior to your arrival...

Starting on Monday of Week 42, my midwife attempted to strip my membranes and was able to make a little progress, she told me that my cervix was getting ready, but also taking it's time. Since she was going to be leaving for Haiti on Wednesday and we really wanted to be able to stick with her, I decided on Tuesday I would try Castor Oil to see if that would get some contractions going....well, I'll spare you the details of how that day went and just say: it DIDN'T work! Wednesday, we went in for another appt. with who would now take over and become the midwife who would attend our birth, Deseree. She helped calm my emotions and reassure us of God's timing through sharing some scripture with us. Something I was so thankful for. She stripped my membranes again and then she suggested a chiropractor adjustment to align me, as well as homeopathic drops, and that your dad and I have sex. Now I know as you read this, you will be so grossed out by me telling you about that, but hey girly, that's what got us you in the first place :) Thursday morning showed up and still no signs of labor! The plan for Thursday was to continue the drops and also use the breast pump for 2o minutes every hour for awhile. Friday morning showed up and still no you! We had a ultrasound first thing in the morning, which showed us that you were still doing great but also that my fluid could have been a little low. We went straight to another midwife appt. from there and they listened to you more, telling us things were still looking good. She suggested using a Foley Bulb catheter to manually dialate my cervix to 4 cm, which was supposed to release the hormone that starts contractions after that's done. So I went ahead and had her place that and we hung out at the Birth Center for a while to be monitored through that. I did start to have contractions but just the beginning kinds here and there. We went home, had a great lunch and just waited for the Bulb to fall out. It came out around 7:00 and soon after I went to bed, listening to my Hypnobabies tracks and thinking positive thoughts! From about 10:00-12:30 midnight, I was having contractions, but they then died out which really bummed me out. I may have cried a little! ok, maybe a little more then just a little :) But your wonderful daddy calmed me down and reassured me that it was going to be soon!! That helped and I was able to fall asleep, only to wake around 4 am with contractions again, but then they died out again around 7 am. We called the midwife and she wanted us to come in around 9:00, to check on you and talk about the next step. 9:00 came and things were still looking good with you so we decided the plan for the day was to continue the breast pump and the drops. I was feeling kinda nauseuos which may have also been a sign that it was all working. So we went home and started the regime at 12:00, by about 3:00 I was noticing contractions again consistently and by about 4:30 they were lasting for about a minute, which meant it was time to call the midwife again......

I will leave it at that and continue the rest of the story when I write your birth story! But talk about a slow start and doing all sorts of stuff to get you to come out!! Natural induction is quite the different process then a medical one....

All that to say that last week of my pregnancy sure taught me a lot about patience and reminded me to lay all things at the Lord's feet. To trust in Him and His perfect timing. You and I both were in His hands. I am so thankful that we each stayed healthy and safe up until the very end. It was also a great week for your dad and I to really pull together as at team. I think it prepared us even for your birthing time to be a team in it as well.

Girly, you have been sooooo worth the wait!! I love you with all my heart!

love,

mama

Nicknames....

We love our girl.....calling her all sorts of stuff.....

Munchkin, Munch

Scowly (she's a scowler like her mama)

Sugar

Turtle

Girly

Poop baby (but only when she was still in me because we thought for sure she would poop before she came.....she didn't)

Ellie girl

Missy

Baby girl

Sweetie Pie (Matt's)

and of course I can't post this without at least one picture of her!

Introducing Ellie June Miller!

Born Sunday, February 21, 2010 at 5:34 AM

7lbs 14 oz

21 inches long

We are so blessed! Week 42 letter and birth story and more pics coming soon!

Little peaks of the 85% finished nursery!

Please excuse the poor lighting, it doesn't do the pink walls justice! They are perfect in person!

At least according to this mama!

The framed embroidery print on the wall was made by Matt's mom when he was a baby/kid! Rocking chair recovered by me and the pillow made to "tie in the bedding". It still needs to be painted white! The lamp, we both loved from target, it has owls and other cute little creatures on it (I need to put a close up). The vintage blocks spelling her name were a gift from Auntie Noel. And the beautiful changing table made by a guy from our church as a gift!

This is the view looking in the door. Crib still needs a sheet and skirt!! Also our bags are packed and waiting, sitting in it! Don't worry that outlet down there will have a cover on it before she actually uses this room! Still figuring something out for the windows, but sheers for now.

And these are the bumpers but that is the only part of the bedding done! I am waiting on some fabric to come in. Her name will eventually go over her crib in some creative way too.....

So yeah, we still have a little ways to go to finish this but it's coming together. I will do better pics when it's all done :)

This hopefully satisfies the Grandma's in the mean time :)

Just another reason the girly needs to come soon!

I think this picture pretty much speaks for itself!

Week 41 (and 2 days!) letter

Dear daughter,

Ok, here's where I mean business! I am trying to be patient, I really am.....but girly, this is hard! I am not going to lie, I cried a little this morning as I sat in the rocking chair, in your nursery, that is all ready to go for you. But then as soon as your dad called you a "turd" from the other room, I found myself getting defensive over you! Reminding both of us out loud, that you will come when you're ready. We have both been countering each others comments of impatience with comments of reassurance all week long! I am so thankful that your dad and I are a team in this!

Truly, every minute is a flip flop in my head of being ok that you haven't come yet, to being desperate for you to show up! Honestly, a big part of it is because I have been dreaming of and preparing for your birth for months now and I really want it to be natural, and not induced. With each day that passes, I fear that we are getting away from that....but the Lord and others, gently remind me to just TRUST!

Like I have said in earlier letters, I know you will teach me A LOT in our life together and that is already happening in this special time of it's own. And I need to remember that these last days and hours are so special and just to soak them up!

So here's where I switch tunes in my letter, to focus on the special moments. Just writing my true feelings down above already has lightened my heart! I am thankful for the special moments I had with your dad last night. Joking and laughing the whole way on our walk to Safeway, it just felt so good. Having him ask me all evening long as we laid on the couch, if I was "doing alright?" with every position change I made. Teasing me again for going into your room and turning on your lamp, just because I like the way it looks on and I could see it from the couch! oh and the creative ways we tried to get you come..... (you'll know what I mean one day!)

Today, I am going to try hard to just let go of all my "what if's and whens" and just be in the moment. You will come in the right time, I know this girly. I choose to trust this and trust God.

I love you little one! You are SO worth the wait!

love,

mama

another "could be our last date night before she comes" date night

That has been my every thought this week...."could this be the last thing I eat before she comes?" "Could this be the last time we snuggle on the couch with out having her here to snuggle too?" "Could this be our last "date" pre-kiddo?"

It's a funny feeling...like I've told a few people this week, it's like knowing I get to go to Disneyland anyday, but my parents won't tell me when we are leaving! That's the big surprise....

and Miss Ellie is still waiting to come.....so that is the surprise we are waiting for too....

anxiously

excitedly

patiently (for the most part!)

and

lovingly!

We do trust God's timing and hers.....

So in the meanwhile, we chose to enjoy some UFC fighting and good food and entertaining company in the seats next to us!

Gotta love those "could be the last pre-kiddo date nights!" (I've thought that now for the past 3!!!)

i love my life.....

Week 40 (and 2 days) letter

Dear Ellie girl,

You are still "Ellie in my belly" as of right now.....and this weeks email tells me you are now the size of a.........baby! So I guess that means you can come out now :) I am feeling good, maybe just little anxious but NOT impatient. Just very curious of when the time will be is all. Waking every morning, wondering "Is today the day?" or going to bed each night thinking " Is tonight the night?" Also wondering if every feeling in my belly is the beginning of you coming into the world!

But truly, I do feel so good. Your dad is being very great and supportive and encouraging in these final days too. He is my best friend and I am so so thankful for him.

We accomplished so much in your room this past weekend!! And I am really loving how it is all coming together. I still have little projects to do and finish but I just love the overall feel and look. I sat in the rocking chair last night, just thinking of you and picturing all the moments we will have in there. Reading, playing, singing, dancing, making, pretending, etc....

Baby girl, you have already brought me such JOY! I can't help but smile when I think of what is to come.

We took a LONG walk last night in the rainy evening and spoke of you for most of the time. I talked about how my 8 weeks of maternity leave are going to go so fast and I really just want to soak it all up. I was reminded by a great mama friend this week how fast it all really does go and to treasure it. I plan to do just that girly. I know I have a tendency to want things to be a certain way, or have strong opinions on things, or expectations, or to want to keep the house clean, yadda yadda, but I am going to make a concious effort in these coming 8 weeks to just soak up being a new mama and enjoy every bit, even the hard moments. I hope this sets a good foundation for our entire life together....to NOT get caught up in all the things that really don't matter that I miss out on the things that truly do. Those little moments, those special times. I am sure I will learn SO many lessons, daily even, being your mama. I am READY girly....and I hope the things I learn, I can one day share with you!

It really is coming soon Ellie girl! We are hearing lots of predictions of when the day and time will be! You have so many people, family and friends both, that are very excited to meet you. You are already so special to them and are so loved!

I will MEET you soon my darling babe!!

love,

mama

it's the little things...

-like looking at each other in church, knowing we are thinking the same exact thing (about what I CAN'T remember now) but saying "we just had the same thought!" with a smile

-like feeling his hand rub my shoulder or take my own hand during prayer or a worship song

-like being treated to a bake sale item just because

-like encouraging me to take a nap while he worked outside, went on a run, and did some chores

-like waking me sweetly and gently so I wouldn't be grumpy after the nap

-like a nice afternoon walk up some hilly streets with my man and my wonderful mother-in-law

-like enjoying some afternoon toast (i LOVE toast!)

-like me suggesting a date and him using his birthday money to make it happen

-like him suggesting we go walk around Target after dinner but really just using the drive through the parking lot as a decoy to end up parking at Cold Stone (alterior motives!)

-like him wanting to push all the couches together to make one huge bed/couch in the living room that we can snuggle on cause that's what he REALLY wants to do!

All these little things and so many more....they are just a FEW of the reasons i LOVE my husband and am so thankful for him and these last 9 months we have shared together growing, learning, and loving!

*EXCEPT the toast one....that has nothing to do with Matt :) I just like my toast!