Week 39 letter

Dear Ellie,

39 weeks! That means it's almost over.....well, actually it's all about to BEGIN!, but I mean being pregnant is almost over. Having you grow inside me from being the size of "1/2 of a pea" to now the size of a small rabbit (according the internet!).

Honestly, it has been truly amazing, all of it. I feel so lucky and blessed that it was easy and great and continues to be, right up until the very end. These past 9 months have changed me, I can feel it. These past months have brought your dad and my relationship to a whole new level. These past 9 months have brought YOU! It has been nothing short of beautiful to me. (ok, ok I am a sap! Those aren't hormones talking, this is me girly!)

Last night, I laid in bed for a bit, looking up some songs on my ipod to make into a birth mix, mostly worship songs, and I was just able to lay there and reflect. I was overwhelmed in the best way....first by my love for you, but even more so by God's love for me! I hope and pray that you feel this in your own life one day. It is an amazing thing.

This past week, we moved out of your room! This is very exciting for me, since I have been dreaming, planning, and decorating (in my head) your room from the very get go. Also, I love OUR new room....I love the color that your dad picked out all by himself, I love the french doors leading to the back yard and the huge windows that let in lots of light, I especially love seeing your bassinet in there, just waiting to be filled with you!

I think even as I am typing this now, your room is being painted the sweetest shade of pink by your dad. I never thought I would go for so much pink in your room (it's really only the walls though) but it just makes me happy!

I dreamed about you the other night, my love. I haven't been able to picture your face at all these past 9 months, but in my dream I saw it! I still can't describe it with words but it was you! Just the feeling was there, and I knew it was you. You were sleeping so soundly, that in the dream I did the whole "check and make sure you were breathing" thing. I am sure I will have many of those moments so soon in real life.

I am looking forward to those moments of feeling so connected to you as your mom, of protectiveness, love, nurturing, all of it. Of experiencing the moments I didn't even know I was capable of experiencing!

We're about to start a new chapter in this adventure Ellie girl, I know it won't always be sunshine and rainbows, that along the way with all the great stuff, there will be hard days and tears, but without a doubt I know it will all be so so worth it! I am thankful for you, my daughter! And so excited to meet you......soon!

love,

mama